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Saturday 26 April 2014

Writing to Describe- Edward Scissorhands Example


Peggy squinted up at the huge, gothic, dilapidated mansion as she cautiously approached; trying to keep one eye on the road and the other on the imposing mansion that looked like it belonged in an old Hitchcock movie. She drew up to what appeared to be the entrance and stood for a moment with her neck craned backwards to try and comprehend how large and overbearing this ancient mansion was now she was right next to it. It had always stood on top of the mountain far in the distance; a shadowy blight against the pastel foreground that was the idyllic suburb that Peggy called home but now she had wandered out of her world; perhaps too far. For a moment she thought to herself that she must be insane to have travelled all this way up the mountain without even telling anyone where she was but she was desperate for sales now. No one ever bought her Avon goods and perhaps this day things would be different. She had no idea just how different today would be...

Peggy held her Avon bag close to her and pushed open the old, iron gate. She blinked for a minute as what she was imagining to see was in fact replaced by the most surreal and beautiful garden that she had ever seen. Directly in front of her was a path that led to an island with a beautiful bush sculpture of a hand of cascading fingers. To the left, a majestic sculpture of an antelope and directly to her right was a serpent; all trimmed to perfection as if God himself had sculpted them in the Garden of Eden. For a moment, it took Peggy’s breath away but she was drawn in to the vibrant reds, oranges and yellows of the flowers that surrounded each sculptured bush. Peggy didn’t know where to look next; she was a child in a magical wonderland as she darted her eyes from leaping squirrels and animals of every shape and size.

“Beautiful,” she softly whispered to herself as she pressed forward, resisting the urge to wander the rest of the garden for hours. She peered up at the dilapidated mansion and yelled “hello?” but no one answered. She skipped up the stairs, forgetting the trepidation she previously felt as surely anyone who created such a beautiful garden could not possibly be dangerous. She banged the huge door knocker, and after a short glance back at the garden, she pushed open the huge, wooden door as curiosity engulfed her.

Stepping in to the dark, vast room, Peggy called out “Hello? Avon calling!” but still no one replied. The building looked vacant. There were two covered chairs in the corner that were dimly lit by the two shafts of light entering the broken windows and as Peggy walked further in to the room, she stood in awe of the vastness of the room that resembled a factory with old, dusty machines at the far end, eerily illuminated from the rays of sun that entered the windows at the side. To her left, Peggy faced a long staircase with iron railings that began by encasing a gothic sculpture that resembled the Grim Reaper. She quickly began to ascend the stairs, jabbering that she was the local Avon lady; more to calm her own nerves than anything else as she approached the unknown. As the finally reached the top of the stairs, she turned up a twisted staircase that led her in to an attic that was scattered with dark shadows and patches of sun that entered the broken roof. There was nothing in the room apart from Peggy and a disused fireplace full of photographs. As she peered at them, trying to figure out who lived here, a noise shattered her thoughts and she was aware that she was not alone...

Writing to Argue


Try to think of both sides of an argument (see example for home schooling below)


Argument For
Argument Against
Flexible hours
You don’t make friends
Taught by someone you trust
Your parents are not qualified in all subjects
No bullying
You might get distracted by TV, computer, etc.
You can concentrate more
You don’t learn social skills.
No travel costs



Try to keep what you are saying balanced so that you sound calm and reasonable. Use words such as...


Yes, but…

On the other hand…

I see your point, but…

I understand what you are saying, but…

Although what you are saying is true…

Despite this being a good point...

This is more beneficial as...

As true as that may be...

That may seem like a good idea but...
 
Key words when looking at both sides of an argument
However
Despite this
Otherwise
Instead of
Alternatively
Nevertheless
Conversely
On the other hand
In opposition

Tenses


Present Tense
Past Tense
Past Tense (plural)- more than one person
I see a boat
I saw a boat
They saw a boat
I go
I went
They went
I am
I was
They were
I find
I found
They found
I don’t
I didn’t
They didn’t
I get
I got
They got
I do
I did
They did
I say
I said
They said

Writing a Narrative


Include these in your narrative...
 
 
Senses: see, hear, touch, smell, taste


Personification: giving an object/animal human qualities (e.g. the sea roared)


Similes: describing something using ‘like or as’


Language: exciting and extended vocabulary


Long and Short Sentences: vary your sentence structures for effect


Adjectives: describing words (colours, textures etc)


Adverbs: describing HOW things are done (quickly, quietly etc)


Alliteration: two or more words beginning with the same letter or sound in a sentence



For a C grade:


  Use of 1st person (I)

  Present and Past tense throughout

  Paragraphs - different lengths and linked by

appropriate connectives so structure is clear.

  Ideas must be sequenced purposefully.

  Varied vocabulary – for precise meaning

  Exciting adjectives

  Specific verbs and adverbs

  Similes

Alliteration, rhetorical questions, repetition, humour,

sarcasm, triples, emotive language, personal pronouns.

  Simple sentences

  Basic complex sentences

  Split main clause sentences

  Adverb starts

  Accurate use of speech marks if appropriate

  Commas in lists and complex sentences

  Spellings of simple words always correct and most others usually correct.

Connectives


I went to the shops and I bought an ice cream.


I went to the shops but they were closed.


I went to the shops as I was out of milk.


I went to the shops because I was out of milk.


I went to the shops when they were just about to close.


I could go to the shops or I could just order a take away. 


I went to the shops yet it was a real difficulty for me.


I went to the shops as well as visiting my friend on the way home.


I went to the shops although I was really unwell.


I went to the shops despite the fact that it was raining.